One the #biggies those of us that struggle with overaccommodating others, pleasing others at the cost to our happiness, and basic codependency is that we are listening to the WRONG voice within us.
You see, you’ve got 3 voices within you:
1) Your programming
2) Your assumptions of what others think/want/feel regarding you
3) You
You’ve been trained to maximize #2, which created voice #1. You trust those thoughts to be facts. You assume the replay of your past experiences is a prophecy about your future. In reality, your brain is only doing what it knows to do: tell you what it knows.
To hear your voice, you must become dis-identified with voices 1 and 2. This means you become an observer of those thoughts and narrative rather than the actor of them. This is a simple, yet often tricky, experience to manage.
Here’s how you do it:
1) Take time to simply observe your thoughts as if they’re cars of a freeway or ants on a hill. Watch them come. Watch them go. If you feel anything, watch those emotions come and go, too. Be the observer, much like when you’re in the audience of a movie or concert.
2) When you get lost in thought, return your attention to your breath and then resume observation.
3) Do this for 5 minutes a day
You will begin to notice space between your thoughts as well as how light and heavy certain voices are. You will also begin to hear YOU again. How will you know it is your voice?
1) It is quiet and restful
2) It is light and expansive
3) It doesn’t judge you
From here, you can begin to receive again your insight, wisdom, and brilliance that feeds your natural, organic happiness.
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