Do you try to fix other people’s feelings or problems for them? Do you find yourself fixated on helping them? Do you feel anxiety about their problem and their pain while ignoring your own or what that focus is costing you?
Then you’re dealing with the “fixer” element of codependent coping.
The fixer is that part of the codependent dynamic that tries to build connection with another person through assuming the other person needs US to fix them. We believe they’re not capable of managing their own problems, feelings, or needs on their own. We need them to need us so we feel useful. And feeling useful leaves us feeling LOVED.
Notice the assumption I mentioned?
Yep. We assume they cannot regulate their own feelings, find solutions to their problems, or be mature because of:
1) Their bad day
2) They work so hard
3) Their traumatic past
4) Their feelings are too big for them
5) Whatever reason we can create to sustain our fantasy that they’ll eventually either change or they’ll rescue us from our pain
This programming runs very quietly in the background of our thinking. It took me a good while to get in touch with that programming, but only took a few weeks to undo the programming once I accepted this fact:
Adults are responsible for their feelings, their desires, their actions, and their choices regardless of their past or present difficulties in dealing with them. Ownership and accountability are not rescinded because of someone’s trauma.
My awareness of their pain does not equal responsibility for it.
Healthy adults own their trauma, their past, and forge ahead in healing and growth. Unhealthy ones wallow in the pit of victimhood, blaming others and demanding they be treated in special and entitled ways instead.
If you’re a fixer, stay out of their yard and focus on yours. Take the courage to tune into your pain and get real healing.
If you’re fed up with wasting your time, your energy, your heart on people who don’t change, don’t grow, and don’t appreciate you, you’re ready for CODEPENDENCE-TO-CONFIDENCE.
What is CODEPENDENCE-TO-CONFIDENCE?
It is my 3-Stage CODEPENDENCE-TO-CONFIDENCE Strategy.
Stage One: Making Love Your Governing Truth. I train you how to use the HEAL Process™ so ANY shame, fear, guilt, and more are evolved into radiant love, peace, and confidence. Gone are the days of drowning in shame, feeling paralyzed by fear, and wondering who you really are. Instead, you will bask in effortless self-love, courage and curiosity about life, and you be in tune with YOUR voice.
Stage Two: Liberating You From Love Addiction. I train you how to navigate the powerful euphoria that comes with the narcissist’s love-bombing. I teach you how to end your mental and emotional obsession over the narcissist and what other people think and feel about you. I also teach you how to fill that deep loneliness that haunts you. You’ll never need to go back to the narcissist ever again, nor will you need a relationship in order to feel complete or valuable. Instead, you will be enjoying a life full of nourishing, reciprocating relationships and friendships while KEEPING YOURSELF.
Stage Three: Master Your Happiness. I teach you the essential skills you didn’t get growing up. Instead of wondering how to build friendships, you’ll know exactly what to do. You’ll know how to have what you want in life. You’ll understand how to change your mind so it works for you. Instead of conflict being scary, you will experience intimacy, understanding, and care in conflict. Life will become fun to experience because you’ll be surrounding yourself with people you like, doing things you enjoy.
This is the 3-Stage CODEPENDENCE-TO-CONFIDENCE strategy that takes back your life from the abuse and neglect and gives you your happiness, love, and prosperity back to you.
Do you want these results?
All you need to do is click here, sign up, and follow each step. That’s it.
That is all it takes. I’ve outlined each step for you. I take you by the hand and guide you through shedding the shame that keeps you fixing others. I guide you in feeling real love for yourself. I teach you how to create your happiness.
All right here: http://membership.freetheself.com
All you have to do is sign up and do the work.
Don’t delay your happiness anymore. Sign up now. Students typically see real changes within 3 – 4 weeks.
🙂
Sign up here: http://membership.freetheself.com