Father’s Day. This and Mother’s Day are laced with odd patches of emptiness for me. Neglect is the hallmark of my childhood. It was all about what didn’t happen. And this leaves one with strange gaps about what love is, what passion is, what purpose is.
And I’ve been looking at these things pretty deeply lately. This prompted me to really focus on the idea of Authority.
Often, especially when we’re dealing with parents, “authority” was really control dressed up in different lettering. Those parents that we looked up to, adored, and loved were unable to see the brilliant, beautiful being before them that is you.
That left us with questions. Questions about our worth, our beingness, our belonging, and our loveableness.
This is because we saw them as authorities about ourselves.
This isn’t wrong.
It is quite natural, actually.
You see, the brain needs a blueprint or an example to reference when it encounters the big, messy, complicated world. The smartest and easiest place to build this reference point around is our parents.
We do this by creating a mental habit of referencing the parent both in real life and in our mental life. “What would mom think?” “How would dad feel?”
Those are the questions we are subconsciously asking as we encounter life and try to make sense of it.
This is how we made them authorities over our life.
Now, because they were negligent, toxic, or both, we also internalized all the falsehoods, lies, and criticisms they reflected back to us.
This is where we become “wounded” in our identities, emotions, and perspectives.
Now, to really heal and achieve more happiness in your life (which is my big goal for you), we must retrieve our authority over our worth and our happiness.
So, how do we actually do that?
We first identify why it is important to our healing to take back our authority and how to do that. Then we do the same with our happiness.
I dig a little deeper in that in this week’s trainings (linked below in the trainings section).
But the one thing I didn’t include in those trainings is this:
YOUR FOCUS MATTERS MOST.
You see, we get distracted a lot.
New book on healing here. New youtube video over there. New course you just bought right in front of you.
Yet, you don’t complete, focus, or commit to them thoroughly.
That’s because we’re hunting for a faster solution or have FOMO (fear of missing out).
There is one thing that MADE THE DIFFERENCE between being stuck in another loop of trying to heal and actually healing was FOCUSING on following a single, clear, simple STRUCTURED healing practice.
It is this decision that lead me to the massive breakthroughs I’ve taught you about over the years. It is what lead me to create the healing system, CODEPENDENCE-TO-CONFIDENCE and the trainings in it.
It is what gets clients to achieve success (like a client this weekend did when she married her love – a love she never thought existed).
We’ll talk more about focus this coming week. Keep your eye out for those trainings.
But today, on this Father’s Day, focus some time on retrieving your authority so your healing and your happiness are no longer dependent on the other person.
Here are this week’s trainings: