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Codependency, Anxiety, and Insecurity emerge from the same basic event. This event (likely a series of repeating events) shaped how you feel about your emotions, about your nature, what you like, what you don't like, and even your basic personality.
You learned to believe that there is something flawed about who you are. You associated your value with the shame, pain and hurt that you felt through these situations, and found yourself wondering what your own value really is.
What was the event?
It all ties to your experience of rejection - specifically the unresolved pain you carry deep inside your subconscious self from those rejection events. Your parents rejecting you when you needed love and support may have left you feeling confused about your value and wondering if you're a burden.
The mockery of your friends and peers about the things you like or abilities you have may have caused you to shrink away from what brings you happiness and joy and success in life.
... from someone you had feeling for may have shaped your sense of value and worth. You may have concluded that men or women you find appealing don't share the same attraction. Worse yet, you may have internalized that pain so deep that you believe you're unlovable (this is something I did!)
The common thread through the hundreds of people I've personally worked with and those I've talked with around the world was this: I have pain from my past that haunts me still.
That pain shows up in a lot of different forms. Sometimes it doesn't appear to even relate to the core event from long ago.
Rejection shows up in many ways that we'd not immediately connect with Rejection:
Unresolved criticism, anxiety, and then rejection shapes our perception of our worth, our value to others, and how love and relationships function.
This leads us to seeking love, validation, attention, and connection from people who are feed our sense of value and meaning through their conditional, intermittent love-bombing, verbal and physical affection, and their feigned weakness and need for us in their lives.
We finally feel like we are valuable and someone sees our worth, beauty and gifts. The pain is temporarily comforted.
This is all an illusion. The unresolved pain from the numerous rejections lurks beneath the surface, occasionally showing up in the forms of:
Closure to those old pains. Closure to those feelings of insecurity, grief, anger, and abandonment. Closure to what you lost and lived with by no choice of your own.
Closure to who you thought you were.
Why Closure first?
The idea is this: relationship and emotional dysfunction is a result of emotional arrested development. Get the pain out of the way, and your natural ability to relate, bond, and advocate yourself blossoms rapidly. You're able to quickly integrate and live from healthy relating skills, boundaries, communication skills and self-love.
You'll know your likes and dislikes instinctively. Your intuitive and gut-level sense of self will take the driver's seat in your life, and you will naturally thrive.
So, how do you get closure?
Get my guide, "Get Closure Now" and discover how to achieve Closure without the effort and cost of therapy, the repetition of EFT or other healing tools, and the difficulty of trying to change your thoughts and feelings...
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