Stop Trying To Fix Your People-pleasing And Do This Instead: Discover Who You Are Beyond It
Stop Trying To Fix Your People-pleasing And Do This Instead: Discover Who You Are Beyond It
What you *actually* need is to discover who you are without that identity, and when you do, you won’t need people-pleasing.
This is what I help you discover in six short weeks in People-pleasing Transformed
Marshall Burtcher
Mentor To Survivors Of Narcissistic Relationships
Is This Your Life?
Is This Your Life?
- You frequently fixate and worry over what other people think about you
- You find yourself really frustrated that you can’t keep your boundaries
- You wonder why sometimes it’s like you just can’t say no when you want to
- You struggle to know and feel your worth when others are upset with you
- You get flooded with anxiety and fear when others are disappointed, upset, or frustrated with you
- The discomfort of upsetting someone overwhelm you
- Often find yourself seeking your value and worth through approval of others
- You dread rejection and trying to avoid it at all costs even when it leaves you feeling unwanted, unimportant, frustrated, or anxious
- You often feel lost, lonely, and not belonging in life
This Is Your People-Pleasing Identity In Action
This Is Your People-Pleasing Identity In Action
People-pleasing has been your best strategy (so far!) to feel safe, worthy, and loved. It is how you learned to navigate the chaotic and unreliable nature of the relationships you had growing up and in your adult life.
This happened because you were not properly loved and nurtured into trusting yourself and valuing yourself – NOT because you’re flawed.
Further, leaving people-pleasing behind can cause big anxiety, fear, and a sense of being lost. This is why it has such a firm grip on your life.
And That Grip Is Causing Your...
And That Grip Is Causing Your...
- Chronic anxiety
- Mind to race all the time
- Distant or non-existent friendships
- Mental exhaustion
- Hating life
- Burn-out from trying so darned hard
- Crippling self-doubt
- Emptiness, loneliness, and disappointment with your life
- Fear and avoidance of your desires and dreams
- Panic at the idea of upsetting someone or facing rejection
- Life feels really scary
- Feeling like a fraud or an imposter
- Sense of not knowing who you are and why you’re alive
And All You're Trying To Have Is...
And All You're Trying To Have Is...
- Friendships and relationships with people you like
- The satisfaction of bringing people some happiness
- Belonging and a sense of being wanted
- Enjoyment of your life and desires
- The sense of being supported in pursuing your dreams
- A good feeling about who you are
- A sense of safety and peace
- More play and fun
- Rest and peace
You Can Have These In Your Life, But...
You Can Have These In Your Life, But...
You’re going to have to first discover who you are beyond…
- The unworthiness you believe is true about yourself
- Seeking approval
- Your anxiety and fear
- Your learned sense of powerlessness
- Your learned distrust of yourself
This Is What I Help You Achieve In...
This Is What I Help You Achieve In...
In This 6-week Live Experience, You Will Discover...
In This 6-week Live Experience, You Will Discover...
- Your power to create peace and soothing for the discomfort you feel regarding other people’s upsets, feelings, hurts, and disappointments – even when they’re about you – so that you keep your boundaries no matter what
- Deep trust in your the legitimacy of your boundaries, feelings, and right to take up space
- The existence of your independent real worth, allowing you to feel worthy regardless of rejection or approval
- Safety and soothing habits that help your anxiety drop and your mind and body rest
- Separation from other people’s emotions, helping you keep yourself, your boundaries, and your peace of mind
- Trust in the goodness and validity of your boundaries, your emotions, your needs, and your limits
- Freedom from the burden of responsibility for other people’s feelings, allowing you to walk away from things that don’t work for you and letting others take care of themselves
- WHO YOU ARE BEYOND YOUR PEOPLE-PLEASING
These Discoveries Unlock Your Success In...
These Skills Unlock Your Success In...
- Keeping your boundaries
- Trusting yourself
- Loving and respecting yourself
- Friendships that feel good to you
- More enjoyment being who you really are
- Achieving your desires in life
- Liking and loving yourself
- Feeling safe
- Being playful
- Actually resting and enjoying peace
- BEING YOUR TRUE, POWERFUL SELF
You Might Be Thinking, "But I've Already Tried Other Things And They've Not Worked, Marshall..."
You Might Be Thinking, "But I've Already Tried Other Things And They've Not Worked, Marshall..."
And if you are, you’re in the right place.
I doubted I could heal and thrive.
I had done the therapy, taken courses, and watched countless YouTube videos and done so many meditations.
Nothing worked until I understood this:
You see, people-pleasing is viewed as an identity. “I am a people-pleaser”.
But in reality, it is an *expression* of a biological reflex in your body called “Fawning”.
Fawning is part of the flight, fight, and freeze reflexes bodies have when there’s danger showing up.
Fawning is chosen when the body doesn’t feel that running away or fighting will stop the threat.
This is often because the body feels dependent on the threat (the other person, the partner, the parent, the community) for their sense of survival and well-being, so it chooses to try to please and appease the threat so it won’t reject or harm it anymore.
Fawning stops when the body feels safe enough to risk those connections.
When this clicked, I saw what I needed to develop: Enough safety within myself to disappoint others.
Feel safe enough to disappoint others and you are FREE.
People-Pleasing Ends When You Know Who You Are Beyond It
People-Pleasing Ends When You Know Who You Are Beyond It
- You sense your worth is in danger because you depend on approval to know you are ok to be yourself
- You sense that your belonging is at risk because you want to say no or have a boundary, but do not trust they’ll value and keep you
- You feel a sense of danger in being different from what they expect or desire
This impulse stops instantly when you:
- Know and feel your real worth and trust it
- You are willing to find out the truth of a connection by rocking the boat
- You feel safe enough to be alone so you can find the right people for you
- YOU KNOW YOUR TRUE SELF AND EMBODY IT
Here's How You And I Will Activate That New You
Here's How You And I Will Activate That New You
Step One – Decode Your People-Pleaser Identity: You’ll master how to detect this identity and quickly begin to sooth the anxiety and pain that drives it so you stop pleasing in it’s tracks, liberating you from perpetuating the loop of pain and frustration you’ve been living with for so long.
Step Two – Build Capacity And Peace: You’ll be able to soothe the discomfort that comes with other people’s emotions and disappointments, helping you keep your boundaries and peace. You will trust yourself more.
Step Three – Discover and Embody Your Confidence Identity: You’ll learn how to quickly pivot into your aligned, confident identity and use this version of yourself to your life and navigate the situations that emerge. This eliminates your need to stay a people-pleaser, guaranteeing your long-term success.
We Do These Steps Together Over 6 Weeks
We Do These Steps Together Over 6 Weeks
- Week 1 – Decoding The People-pleasing Identity: Discover your people-pleaser identity and how to separate your sense of self from it
- Week 2 – Soothing Your Discomfort: Master the ability to quickly soothe discomfort and expand your peace fast
- Week 3 – Unblending Yourself From Their Feelings: Learn how to no longer take on their emotions, but instead notice how they’re separate from you and how to properly respond to other people’s feelings without taking on responsibility for their management
- Week 4 – Your Confidence Identity: Discover the Confidence Identity that you’ve always had, just never knew by tapping into your Innate Worth
- Week 5 – Unwavering Self-trust: Untangle yourself from distrust and connect back to really trusting your senses, awareness, and the validity of your feelings, limits, needs, wants, etc
- Week 6 – Your Power Embodied: Take back your personal power from rejection and approval, setting you free to embody more worth, power, and trust in yourself
This Results In Your True Self That...
This Results In Your True Self That...
- Keeps your boundaries and commitments to yourself
- Feels and follows your worth
- Is anchored in your power and sovereignty
- Is at peace, centered, and trusting in yourself
- Feels safe standing up, saying no, and speaking your voice
- YOU KNOWING AND BEING YOUR TRUE, ALIGNED SELF
These Strategic Supports Help You Accelerate & Keep Your Success
These Strategic Supports Help You Accelerate & Keep Your Success
MASTER THE SKILLS BY FOLLOWING ALONG WITH MARSHALL
($997 value)
The Practice Sessions give you pre-recorded, follow-along sessions that help you master the tools and make them effective in your daily live
BE CALM: RAPIDLY SOOTHE YOUR ANXIETY
($297 value)
Learn how to rapidly reduce anxiety, stop panic attacks, shutdown overwhelm, and build deeper peace and safety emotionally in your daily life
TOOLS AND MEDITATIONS DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR HEALING CODEPENDENCY
($197 value)
Gain access to over 200+ tools, meditations, practices, and guides to amplify your healing, freedom, peace, and joy in your daily life
LIFETIME ACCESS
($Priceless)
- Lifetime access to all recordings (video and mp3 format)
- Lifetime access to the Process Guide PDF with all the tools and practices
Become Who You Are Beyond People-Pleasing By Enrolling Below!
PRICE: $197
- The THAW Trainings ($297 value): Begin to thaw the freeze reflex that keeps you procrastinating, paralyzed, and locked in fatigue
Lifetime Access To:
- Live Training Attendance: Sundays at 3pm Mountain Time (Starting January 26th, 2025)
- On-demand Trainings
- Lifetime access to the recordings and live classes
- The BE Calm System ($197 value)
- The Codependency Healing Meditations & Tools Library ($197 value)
- The Practice Session Library ($997 value)
- Student Community ($997 value)
EXISTING STUDENTS:
This course is not included with any other courses.
If you own any of these courses, you qualify for student pricing:
- FOUNDATION
- The Codependency Healing System
- Heal Yourself Strategy
- Relationship Strategy
- Know Yourself Strategy
If you’re an member of the Everything Forever Program, this course is already included.
EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE THAT SEEK LONG-TERM FULFILLMENT, PEACE, & SATISFACTION BEYOND THEIR CODEPENDENCY
OVER $18,500+ In Value
Starts At $2000
This is exclusively for the recovering codependent, people-pleaser, or perfectionist that is hungry to create and enjoy satisfaction, success, and peace in…
… their relationships
… their money and finances
… their life purposes
… their dreams
… their friendships
… daily life
And they want the hands-on, live mentorship, guidance, and support to help them achieve this, keep this, and enjoy this.
This Is For The Individual That Wants:
- Unlimited Access to the Core Suite of Trainings, including:
- Unlimited, lifetime access to FOUNDATION: VIP Edition: Create more emotional peace, community, and self-worth
- Unlimited, lifetime access to The Codependency Healing System: Go deeper in your healing and self-mastery
- Unlimited, lifetime access to The TRANSFORMATION System: Master your ability to create your desires in your reality
- Unlimited, lifetime access to weekly live homework and practice calls to help them succeed in having the results they want in their lives
- Unlimited, lifetime access to weekly support calls with Marshall
- ADDITIONS: Private Sessions & ACCELERATE
COURSE DETAILS
The Course Details:
Class Availability: On-demand 24/7 and live classes
Class Length: 1.5 hours on average
Homework Time Investment: 20 minutes on average per week
Formats: Video and mp3 for the classes; PDF course guide
Does Access Expire? No. You get lifetime access to the recordings and practices
The Course Outline:
Week 1 – Decoding The People-pleasing Identity: Discover your people-pleaser identity and how to separate your sense of self from it
Week 2 – Soothing Your Discomfort: Master the ability to quickly soothe discomfort and expand your peace fast
Week 3 – Unblending Yourself From Their Feelings: Learn how to no longer take on their emotions, but instead notice how they’re separate from you and how to properly respond to other people’s feelings without taking on responsibility for their management
Week 4 – Your Confidence Identity: Discover the Confidence Identity that you’ve always had, just never knew by tapping into your Innate Worth
Week 5 – Unwavering Self-trust: Untangle yourself from distrust and connect back to really trusting your senses, awareness, and the validity of your feelings, limits, needs, wants, etc
Week 6 – Your Power Embodied: Take back your personal power from rejection and approval, setting you free to embody more worth, power, and trust in yourself
Success Is Yours When You Follow These 4 Rules:
Success Is Yours When You Follow These 4 Rules:
Rule One: Watch the training or attend the live class (usually 1-5 hours long)
Rule Two: Do the practices as outlined for the class you’re working on (most take about 20 minutes a week)
Rule Three: Ask for help when you need it, either in class or in the Telegram Support Group (use it!)
Rule Four: Take your time with the process. You have lifetime access to the trainings and the support community
ABOUT MARSHALL
ABOUT MARSHALL
Hi, I’m Marshall. I Was Hopelessly Codependent.
REAL PEOPLE SHARING THEIR JOURNEY
REAL PEOPLE SHARING THEIR JOURNEY
Real People.
Living Their Happiness.
From Loss and Heart-break To Love, Clarity, And Satisfaction
From Confusion and Lost to Direction and Clarity
COMMON QUESTIONS ANSWERED
COMMON QUESTIONS ANSWERED
HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE FOR ME?
Ask yourself this question and listen to you body’s response: “Will this course get me where I want to be?”
If you find yourself heavy and confused, then your answer is no.
If you find yourself light, expansive, and clear, then your body’s answer is yes.
That answer is what I call your “intuitive answer”.
Trust your inner guidance.
WHAT IF I GET STUCK OR GO SLOWLY?
This is anticipated in the design of all my courses. You see, this course is teaching you new practices and a new lifestyle. It will take time to adopt, explore, and experience what you learn.
You can go at your pace and you’ll always have support and guidance along the way.
WHAT IF I DECIDE IT ISN’T FOR ME AFTER ENROLLING?
I recommend not enrolling if you’re wrestling with this question. Instead, share with me your concerns or questions by messaging me here: https://www.facebook.com/freetheself
There are no refunds for subscriptions.
I’M REALLY BAD WITH TECHNOLOGY AND COMPUTERS. WILL THAT GET IN THE WAY?
All my courses are designed to be accessed through email. If you’re comfortable with using email, you can do the courses.
All live classes are through the ZOOM app. Links to the ZOOM classrooms are in all class emails and titled “Link to Classroom”. Click the link and you’ll be entered into the classroom.
If you have difficulties, reach out to support here: support@freetheself.com and we’ll help you get it working.
The only issue we do not troubleshoot is email delivery. We recommend having a GMAIL, HOTMAIL, MSN, YAHOO account for the class emails. Other email services may block or move to spam course emails.
I’M IN THERAPY. WILL THIS INTERFERE?
All my courses are built on cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and somatic therapies. This means it will likely be compatible with your therapy and enhance what you’re learning there.
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