And if you’re currently in therapy, you can achieve deeper, faster relief right now.
If you want to know how to create connection and feel whole again, I can help.
Mentor To Survivors Of Narcissistic Relationships
Neglect is what didn’t happen that should have.
You can quickly assess if you’ve been neglected. Ask yourself these questions:
Did you feel sheltered and protected growing up?
Did you feel seen, valued, and loved by your mother and/or father?
Do you have a sense of being “real” and having importance in other people’s lives?
Do you believe others think about you during their day in warm, loving ways?
Do you have a strong sense of your emotions and what they’re telling you?
Are you able to identify what you are in need of and ask for it?
Was there frequent play and rest in your childhood?
Were you shamed for having needs, wants, and feelings?
Were you told to “grow up” when you were in pain?
Were you told to “figure it out” when you had problems?
Did you feel alone, isolated, and not included by others?
Did you crave attention, to be seen and heard?
Do you feel numb and lost when you’re asked, “do you know who you are?”
Do you find yourself trying to be independent and not need anyone else?
Do you find yourself craving others and hoping they’ll take care of you?
If you relate to the second set of questions – you were neglected.
You were not given consistent, reliable nurture emotionally, mentally, and relationally.
This leads you to feeling numb, burned out, overwhelmed by emotions, craving others and their attention, affection, and love. You struggle to identify your needs and feel safe asking for them and being seen, valued, and loved.
This is the impact of neglect.
I’ve helped 1000’s of survivors reclaim their needs and nurture themselves into satisfaction and fulfillment.
What did they all need?
A PROVEN PROCESS TO FOLLOW: Neglect requires experience and somatic (felt-sense) experience to heal. You need a step-by-step process that helps you reconnect with yr needs and begin nurturing them within yourself and within healthy, safe connection with others.
THE RIGHT KNOWLEDGE: Survivors of narcissistic abuse and codependency comes from a different world than those who haven’t been through that hell.
This means you need the correct knowledge at the right time to make the correct changes and choices that result in lasting healing for yourself.
THE TOOLS & PRACTICES THAT ADDRESS THE CORE CAUSES: Survivors that heal need the right practices that help them develop a healthy relationship with themselves and helps them tap into their value as a human being, rather than an object.
Survivors learn how to calm their pain and distress, tap into their core worth, and build warmth and connection with themselves and others.
THE CORRECT EXPERIENCE & TIMING: Understanding your experiences helps you make wiser choices. To have that right understanding, you need to have the correct experiences in the correct time. Survivors build confidence and clarity fast when they know how to respond to the milestones in relationships as well as how to walk the path to those milestones.
A SAFE HAVEN: Survivors need real-time, active feedback on their experiences. A strong community coupled with bi-weekly live mentoring beyond the classroom helps them succeed fast and maintain their growth and achievements.
ON-GOING RELIABLE RESOURCES & REINFORCEMENT: Most survivors I’ve worked with needed consistent access to support, feedback, cheer-leading, and celebration as they ventured into the world and experienced life. Knowing someone has your back makes adventure and risk so much safer.
NURTURE™ is built specifically for survivors struggling to know what their needs are, how to connect with them, and then fulfill them.
Through specialized practices, NURTURE™ helps the survivor connect again with their core needs and satisfy them through healthy relationships.
NURTURE™ has one objective: Help You Restore Connection Through Fulfilling Your Needs
We don’t know our needs. We don’t know their signal. And we don’t know how to identify and label them.
This is because of the neglect we’ve endured. We were not given reflective feedback that helped us learn to reference and tune into ourselves.
Students exit this step understanding how to tune into and understand their needs and how they show up. They also can identify their 10 Core Needs.
Needs and how they are fulfilled are unique to each person. Because we are not connected to our needs, we have not come to know them.
Students in this step discover how to know their need by identifying:
Each student exits this step being able to describe what their need is and how that need gets their attention and how it gets fulfilled.
Nurturing our needs requires structure, routine, and practice. The Nurture Process™ helps students:
This is where students experience reconnection, care, and belonging again in their lives.
The curriculum is broken down into sections. Each builds on the one previous to it, teaching you a new lifestyle and daily living practice that sets you up for lasting success.
Topic: Neglect & Restoration
Topic: Attachment & Identity
Topic: Inner Self
Topic: Interpersonal Nurture
Topic: Adapting To Being Nurtured
Taking the leap on your own healing is scary. I know it was for me. What made the difference is a warm, supportive community that I could turn to with my questions, my needs for understanding and support, and guidance.
I provide you with this support through:
The chaos, crazy-making, and roller-coaster of emotions and intensity is why you feel anxiety. The BE CALM System empowers you with tools that calm your mind and body quickly. They help you have power and have a say in what you feel
These tools are built on Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing trainings. You will feel more calm and grounded.
My courses are designed to be used from the smart phone and the desktop computer or laptop.
Each course is broken down into a series of small trainings. These trainings build on each other (think legos). As you advance through each training, you place another block in your healing, freedom, and peace.
You will exit each training and each course with a new skill-set and the understanding of how to apply it to your life.
My courses are self-paced regardless of they’re the live edition or the recorded edition. They’re designed to adapt to your lifestyle and needs. This is achieved with my Building-block™ course design (means they work like following a recipe).
Get answers to your questions by submitting your question to me and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours.
Just click below and fill out the question form.
KNOWING YOUR NEEDS ARE REAL AND LEGITIMATE: You’ll know how to identify and fulfill your core needs and who you can rely on them for that.
GREATER PEACE: You’ll know how to calm your mind, your body, and your pain using tools designed specifically for your journey. You’ll feel more empowered in being able to care for yourself and feel more safe and at peace.
REAL SAFETY: You’ll know what safety feels like, what you need it in, and how to determine if you’re getting that. You’ll be able to foster and reinforce a deep, body-felt sense of safety in your space, healing loneliness and isolation.
WHOLENESS: You’ll feel more complete, more fulfilled, and more real to yourself as you nurture your needs and connection with self and others.
CONNECTION: Instead of feeling like an outsider, excluded and unwanted, you’ll experience a sense of belonging and connection with others as you build healthy connections with yourself and them.
YOURSELF: You’ll know how to connect with yourself, nurture your intra-connection and your inner world with you, how to keep yourself (aka sobriety), and how to build safe, secure attachment with you.
Hi! I’m Marshall Burtcher.
Before I found my freedom from codependency, I was suffering in a nightmare of cyclical abuse with my parents, stuck in a dead-end marriage, and barely coping with my shame, panic, and trauma.
I found myself on the edge of suicide, trying to run from the monsters in my head and the voices that told me I was worthless, harmful, and I deserved all the crazy-making, emotionally harmful behavior I’d lived with for over 30 years.
My codependency had led me to destroy my marriage, my financial security, and my friendships because I felt so entirely unworthy and so desperately needed others to validate me so I could feel worthy.
I believed that to be lovable, I must be loved first. Without being loved, I was not lovable.
This changed when I took a leap of faith and decided that codependency and my toxic behaviors were a result of my experience, not the expression of who I am.
The healing that occurred within a year of that choice was so profound that I became an advocate for a new point of view: that codependency was a survival response to the threat of being discarded. I call it “The Discard Trauma”.
Fast-forward from 2008 to today and I have helped over 750+ people find happiness with my unique, effective approach to healing.
Today I’m a proud father of 2, a fun boyfriend, and a mentor that is obsessed with eliminating codependency from your world and making happiness a day-to-day reality for you.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE FOR ME?
Ask yourself this question and listen to you body’s response: “Will this course get me where I want to be?”
If you find yourself heavy and confused, then your answer is no.
If you find yourself light, expansive, and clear, then your body’s answer is yes.
That answer is what I call your “intuitive answer”.
Trust your inner guidance.
WHAT IF I GET STUCK OR GO SLOWLY?
This is anticipated in the design of all my courses. You see, this course is teaching you new practices and a new lifestyle. It will take time to adopt, explore, and experience what you learn.
You can go at your pace and you’ll always have support and guidance along the way.
WHAT IF I DECIDE IT ISN’T FOR ME AFTER ENROLLING?
I recommend not enrolling if you’re wrestling with this question. Instead, share with me your concerns or questions by messaging me here: https://www.facebook.com/freetheself
There are no refunds for subscriptions.
I’M REALLY BAD WITH TECHNOLOGY AND COMPUTERS. WILL THAT GET IN THE WAY?
All my courses are designed to be accessed through email. If you’re comfortable with using email, you can do the courses.
All live classes are through the ZOOM app. Links to the ZOOM classrooms are in all class emails and titled “Link to Classroom”. Click the link and you’ll be entered into the classroom.
If you have difficulties, reach out to support here: email@example.com and we’ll help you get it working.
The only issue we do not troubleshoot is email delivery. We recommend having a GMAIL, HOTMAIL, MSN, YAHOO account for the class emails. Other email services may block or move to spam course emails.
I’M IN THERAPY. WILL THIS INTERFERE?
All my courses are built on cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and somatic therapies. This means it will likely be compatible with your therapy and enhance what you’re learning there.