I was hopelessly codependent, love addicted, and then, later, love avoidant for much of my childhood and adult life. I thought something was fundamentally defective with me.
In reality, I was suffering from deep injuries to my identity, worth, and attachment system, resulting in persistent shame, insecurity, panic, and depression.
Today, I teach fellow codependents how to do the same for themselves: Craft a life that brings them fulfillment, peace, freedom, belonging, and more by knowing, loving, and being themselves.
I’ve helped thousands of codependents, people-pleasers, and perfectionists actually heal and go on to enjoy their lives.
My purpose is to guide codependents, people-pleasers, and perfectionists in realizing for themselves they can create and enjoy a life they love.
We each have three core needs that must be nurtured and stable consistently for us to be ourselves and share ourselves with the world:
Your body instinctively knows this, and, at some point, your body realized it wasn’t safe enough to be itself.
This often happens in relationship, family, and cultural systems where the person is repeatedly shamed, attacked, diminished, and discarded. Obedience, tolerance of scary and harmful behaviors, and prioritizing the emotional regulation of the other is priority.
This kind of repeating cycle of harm and danger activated your body’s biological defense mechanism called, “fawning”.
Your body has four options to choose from to keep you safe and alive when danger is encountered:
Codependent behaviors, like people-pleasing, perfectionism, high tolerance and unboundaried empathy for harmful and hurtful behaviors, emerge when the body chooses to fawn.
This is chosen because the body feels like it’s survival is dependent on the dangerous relationship, so it cannot fight or flee and still survive.
So it must fawn to survive.
Codependency got you here, to this day where you are able to choose a new future by choosing a new path.
This is why I see codependency as brilliant. Your body and brain were so smart, so attuned, so powerful it saw it could navigate the chaos and pain of abuse and neglect and survive long enough to escape it.
Now the time has come to discover who you are beyond codependency, beyond survival, and beyond coping.
This makes today – right now – the starting point of your life. Not the end.
And you do not have to do this alone, on your own, or have to figure it all out.
With my trainings, you will quickly learn how to feel safe enough to become yourself, share yourself, and build a life you are proud of.
All of this helps your body stop fawning and start advocating.
You will never need to be codependent again to thrive in your life when you stop being the survivor and start being the creator of your life.
We each have three core needs that must be nurtured and stable consistently for us to be ourselves and share ourselves with the world:
Your body instinctively knows this, and, at some point, your body realized it wasn’t safe enough to be itself.
This often happens in relationship, family, and cultural systems where the person is repeatedly shamed, attacked, diminished, and discarded. Obedience, tolerance of scary and harmful behaviors, and prioritizing the emotional regulation of the other is priority.
This kind of repeating cycle of harm and danger activated your body’s biological defense mechanism called, “fawning”.
Your body has four options to choose from to keep you safe and alive when danger is encountered:
Codependent behaviors, like people-pleasing, perfectionism, high tolerance and unboundaried empathy for harmful and hurtful behaviors, emerge when the body chooses to fawn.
This is chosen because the body feels like it’s survival is dependent on the dangerous relationship, so it cannot fight or flee and still survive.
So it must fawn to survive.
Codependency got you here, to this day where you are able to choose a new future by choosing a new path.
This is why I see codependency as brilliant. Your body and brain were so smart, so attuned, so powerful it saw it could navigate the chaos and pain of abuse and neglect and survive long enough to escape it.
Now the time has come to discover who you are beyond codependency, beyond survival, and beyond coping.
This makes today – right now – the starting point of your life. Not the end.
And you do not have to do this alone, on your own, or have to figure it all out.
With my trainings, you will quickly learn how to feel safe enough to become yourself, share yourself, and build a life you are proud of.
All of this helps your body stop fawning and start advocating.
You will never need to be codependent again to thrive in your life.
Codependency is replaced by advocacy when your body feels safe enough to speak up, stand out, and handle the outcomes.
Codependents like you achieve this by mastering three specific focuses in their healing: emotional safety, social belonging, and independent self-worth. I guide you through this in my 15-week experience called FOUNDATION.
Enrollment is open! Class starts June 30, 2024.
Codependency left you with massive gaps in understanding yourself and life. This is the impact of neglect and abuse.
Your ability to thrive depends on detecting and filling these gaps using real-time support, comprehensive training, and a living community to practice and experiment in. The Codependency Healing System delivers this.
Only 100 students are admitted annually.
Enrollment opens July and February each year.
Become the deliberate creator of your life, your desires, and your experiences by aligning your identity and power with purposes and desires that bring you alive.
This 20-week journey puts in your hands your innate power to intend, receive, and enjoy what you really want in your life, leaving behind all need for codependency and survival.
COMING OCTOBER 2024
Take my free 5-minute Codependency Assessment and discover how much codependency is influencing your daily life
Come join us and discover real support for real healing.
Need practices, tools, and information that actually works and is relevant to what you’re facing right now?
Check out the variety of tools, trainings, and guides I’ve created for students, clients, and The Community.
Included are:
All of these are freely available.
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