Codependency Is How You Survived. Now Learn How To Thrive.​


Marshall Burtcher

Codependency Is How You Survived. Now Learn How To Thrive.​


Marshall Burtcher


Master the 4 skills you need to free yourself from your codependency: Soothing anxiety, restoring self-trust, believing your reality, and taking back your worth.






*This number includes paid trainings and downloads of free materials



Codependency depends on the person distrusting their lived experience and reality.

Healing codependency depends on restoring one’s self-trust in these specific areas:

  • The legitimacy of one’s lived reality
  • One’s natural completeness
  • One’s personal alignment with their personhood

The First Step In Healing: Restoring Self-Trust Guide starts you on this healing path by helping you start restoring trust in the legitimacy of your reactions and lived experience.

This results in more self-clarity, less gaslighting of yourself, more confidence, and more peace in your mind and body.

Start today by getting your copy of the guide for free.  Click below to start now:

Take the 5-day workshop and begin healing

I teach you the four essential practices you need for successful healing of and freedom from codependency. 

Here’s what you will learn:

  • Practice One: How to sooth your anxiety and tension
  • Practice Two: How to begin trusting yourself again
  • Practice Three: How to befriend and believe the legitimacy of your emotions and lived experience
  • Practice Four: How to access, know, and feel your real, innate worth

Experience more peace, freedom, and self-worth tomorrow by starting today.

We start August 1st, 2022.  Get your seat today!


I guide you through breaking free of the core elements of codependency:  Your habits, your fantasies, your fawning, and your powerlessness.
Here’s what you will learn:
  • Training One: Identify your codependent behaviors, the needs that drive them, and then new behaviors to get those needs met
  • Training Two: Identify and neutralize your codependent fantasies
  • Training Three: Identify your Fawn Response and Soothe it
  • Training Four: Identify your personal power and personhood and take it back

Learn more about these trainings by clicking below:



The Codependency Healing System where you learn how to actually thrive without codependency.  I teach you how to:

  • Trust and value yourself
  • Build safety, sanity, and occupy your personal right to exist (aka sovereignty)
  • Know, love, and live life based on who you ARE, not who you’ve been programmed to be
  • Build happy, resilient relationships of all types based on compatibility, connection, and safety

This is where codependency is transformed into healthy, fulfilling interdependency.

Learn more by clicking below:

Upcoming Trainings, Classes, And More


This is my master course for helping you master knowing, loving, and being who you are.  This ends your need for codependency in your life.
Here’s what we will be learning:
  • How to build safety emotionally, physically, and relationally
  • How to restore your sense of sanity and interact with reality
  • How to disengage the Fawn Response and heal the trauma bond
  • How to know who you are, hear your own wisdom, and follow your own vision for your life
  • How to take back and occupy your own personal power, authority, and autonomy
  • How to build healthy relationships of any kind

Enrollment is limited to 50 spots for the Live Classes and 25 for the Recorded Edition.


Wanting to learn more from Marshall?

Check out his guest appearances (past, present, and future) below.


  • EmbodyU Podcast: Ongoing

Past Appearances:

Learn More About Upcoming Events:

Resources For Your Healing & Journey


Healing and thriving without codependency requires healthy, consistent, and reliable connection with others.
The Community aims to create such a shelter where you are:
  • Supported in discovering life without codependency & navigating the complexities that arise
  • Given access to free trainings, tools, and practices to help you succeed faster
  • Celebrated in your discoveries and successes and supported in your frustrations and challenges

Come join us and discover real support for real healing.



Need practices, tools, and information that actually works and is relevant to what you’re facing right now?

Check out the variety of tools, trainings, and guides I’ve created for students, clients, and The Community.

Included are:

  • Tools for soothing anxiety and distress
  • Guides for discerning reality (sane making), healthy relationships, and keeping you sober
  • Practices for emotional healing, integration, and expansion
  • And much, much more


All of these are freely available.


Wanting to learn more from Marshall?

Check out his guest appearances (past, present, and future) below.


  • Beauty In Tragedy Summit:  March, 2022.   Sign up here: The Summit
  • EmbodyU Podcast: April, 2022


Past Appearances:


Learn More About Upcoming Events:

Check Out The Latest From Marshall



There are two commitments that create lasting freedom and healing.
They help you construct new, healthy relating habits and protect you from relapsing into unhealthy relationships and habits.

COMMITMENT ONE: Honesty with yourself and others. This involves being able and willing to acknowledge what you feel, what you are experiencing, and seeing reality. This involves the end of fantasy making and hopeful thinking.

This means acknowledging the pain you’re feeling, their abusive and neglectful behavior, your ignoring of the patterns in the relationship.

This means ending fantasies of changing them, of their potential, and it means being honest with what is actually happening.

COMMITMENT TWO: Loyalty to your well-being first. Relationships do not require the loss of your Self, your well-being, your sanity. The real work in healthy relationships is building connection and understanding. This starts with loyalty to yourself.

Put your well-being first, choose according to what adds to your well-being, and you’ll find yourself more and more free from codependent surviving.

#codependency #narcissism #mentalhealth #boundaries

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Struggling to heal and find real peace?

You may be missing an essential (or several essential) factor in your healing work.

The 8 Factors That Heal Codependency Permanently will teach you exactly what you need to heal codependency while creating real well-being, peace, and freedom in your daily life.

These 8 factors are the secret to the success my students have in experiencing relief from shame, fear, and isolation that drives their codependency, and enjoy more peace, connection, and fulfillment.

You see, codependency is how you survived the hurt, harm, and chaos of unhealthy relationships. It helped you get to this day.

But maybe now you want peace. You want love. You want freedom to be yourself.

This is utterly achievable for you. But codependency cannot get you there.

What you need is a new way of living and relating to yourself, life, and others.

This new way needs to help you know, love, and care for yourself. It needs to help you shift how you relate to rejection, acceptance, connection, and belonging. It needs to help you experience more safety, connection, and worth without giving yourself up in the process.

This is what I teach in the 8 Factors That Heal Codependency Permanently Workshop.

In this 1-day workshop, I will show you:

1) What the actual cause of codependent behaviors is and how that unlocks permanent healing

2) The 3 Necessities that drive your well-being and happiness

3) The 8 factors that end codependency permanently while creating a life you enjoy

You will also receive your opportunities to enroll in my 8-week foundation Live training, The Essential Codependency Healing Trainings. These trainings guide through implementing the essential practices and concepts that nurture the 8 Factors of Well-being in your daily life.

Here are the workshop details:

Date: February 22, 2023

Class Time: 11am and 6pm Mountain Time (I teach it twice for your convenience)

Investment: Free

Replay Availability: The replay will be available February 23, 2023

Come join us and let's discover together your new path and healing.

Click the link in the bio to sign up!

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Patterns of behavior will tell you the truth. They show you what will happen and they establish the premise of what you can predict with a person.

Promises and words that do not align with patterns of behavior tell you the person lacks strong integrity and accountability and will not be reliable or safe for you.

#codependency #healing #narcissism

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Confusing being needed for being loved is extremely common with codependency.

This happens because you've been largely praised, appreciated, and given attention for solving their problems or care-taking their emotions and needs.

This feels really good at first, especially if you've been chronically emotionally and relationally starved. It can feel like love.

This is a transactional form of relationship where you are doing the emotional labor for them in exchange for their temporary approval and attention.

One is left empty, feeling worthless, and possibly resentment and angry when this is their chronic experience in relationships.

Use this quick-list to help you discern if you're seeking to get love by being needed or actually being loved.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.


- You believe they need you to rescue them
- You place them come first over and over your well-being
- You and they do not value your needs
- Feeling lovable, worthy, and valuable is fused with being needed
- Your sense of self is entangled with being the person that helps and fixes
- You feel lost without someone to fix or focus on
- You feel invisible or non-existent when you're not needed
- Sensations: Feel empty and invisible; anxiety about other people's problems; fear about not being needed; resentment, low self-worth; feel a rush when someone needs you
- Behaviors: Involving yourself in their problems; taking on responsibility for their feelings; suppressing your emotions and needs; you may seek out problems to solve


- A desire to connect and know someone else and be known by them
- Feeling appreciated, cared for, and nurtured
- Valued for your presence and being & self-expression
- Boundaries recognized, valued, honored
- Attentive to your emotional well-being, freedom, individuality
- Enjoying and investing time and attention with you
- Being heard, validated, and recognized
- Sensations: Warmth, connection, presence

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A well-being habit:

I tolerate the temporary discomfort of saying no in exchange for long-term peace of mind and clarity.

#codependency #narcissism #healthyrelationships #boundaries

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Being able to discern between healthy and unhealthy relationship signals is crucial to choosing who you build bonds and commitments with.

Use the below criteria to help guide you in your relationship experiences.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.


- Consistently demonstrate they care about the well-being of all involved
- Are attentive and actively listens
- Are empathetic and caring
- Encourages healthy action
- Respect individuality
- Make it a safe and empowering space to be seen
- Are direct, clear, and simple with communication
- See & believe in the inherent goodness of all involved
- Practice of healthy boundaries
- Patterns of follow through in commitments
- Have patterns of accountability for mistakes and impact
- Have patterns of repair


- Are erratic or unreliable
- Are defensive, resistant to accountability
- Try to fix and change the other
- Violate boundaries over and over
- Lack empathy or concern for well-being of all involved
- Have patterns of criticism & being dismissive
- Lack reliable chemistry, interest, play, intimacy
- Have patterns of intermittent engagement (i.e. only when sex is wanted)
- Lack accountability
- May have patterns of abuse

Persistent patterns of the behaviors shared in each column are what denote if it is healthy or not; it is the PATTERN that matters, not the positive anomalies.

#codependency #healing #healthyrelationships

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What shifts when you trust, just a bit, it is ok to put yourself first?

This helps you explore your experience beyond the current conclusions you may hold about putting yourself first.

Write down what you discover and use that to help direct your growth and healing further.

#codependency #wellbeing #healthyrelationships #selftrust

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Being valued vs being valuable. ...

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It saddens me when people refer to the emotional pain, beliefs, and such they feel that blocks them, "crap" or "mess" or "wrong".

Shaming our lived experience, how our bodies respond to those experiences, and what we do to survive isn't going to clear or heal anything.

It will keep it stuck.

It needs love, care, legitimization, and integration. This creates inward healing that STICKS.

Bring warmth toward the pain, and kindness towards the beliefs. Let yourself learn how you survived so you can understand how to thrive.

#codependency #healing #selflove #mentalhealth

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A well-being boundary:

I do not allow others to hurt me with their pain. I kindly step away when this happens.

#codependency #wellness #healing #boundaries

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For codependents, enmeshment and connection can feel very much like the same thing.

Use this quick-list to help you discern between these very different experiences of relating with others. It can help you discover where you may be enmeshing or where another may be enmeshing with you.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.


- Sense of being blended with the other
- A merging of self with the other
- Lose contact with one's boundaries, individual desires, wants, needs, and feelings
- Emotions and feelings feel blurry, mixed up, and not sure who's is who's
- Boundaries are fluid, undefined
- One loses their sense of self when the other is gone
- Obsessive thinking and fixation on the other person, what they're feeling, thinking, doing
- One's sense of value and realness is heavily reliant on the feedback of the other person
- Behaviors: People-pleasing, obsessing around making them happy, ignores boundaries, distress when they aren't there or there is conflict
- Sensations: Panic, euphoria, fear, emptiness, loneliness, incompleteness, chaotic, unstable, unreliable


- A strong sense of individuality
- A consistent experience of warmth and presence between all involved
- Strong sense of who's emotions is who's
- Boundaries are clear, respected, understood
- Mindful consideration of the other and care for their present experience
- Considerate, caring, empathetic
- One's value and person is independent of the other person's approval, love, and opinion
- Individual goals and desires along with mutual goals and desires
- Behaviors: Honest, kind communication, respects boundaries, playful, takes time with self, shares desires, needs, wants
- Sensations: Calm, safe, playful, open, clear, defined, pleasant, warm, reliable

#codependency #healing #narcissism #healthyrelationships

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When abuse and neglect have been your normal, love, warmth, and care will feel foreign and potentially unsafe.

Go gently with yourself. You are adapting to a foreign land and language of relating.

#codependency #narcissism #healing #relationships

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What if failure is a guide, not a judgment? A quick video on this idea. ...

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What if failure is a guide, not a judgment?

What does it teach you?

Approaching failure this way will help you refine your skills and mastery of your life rather than condemn yourself because failure is a judgment of your worth.

#codependency #selfesteem #healing #mentalhealth

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Discerning if your activated state is a trigger or a reaction to an active danger or unsafe situation is a step in restoring one's sanity and safety.

We do this by looking at the facts of the situation while NOT dismissing, shaming, or ignoring the reaction we're experiencing.

All reactions are VALID and REAL as they come from lived experience in the past.

What does need to be assessed is if the reaction is RELEVANT to the situation at hand. This helps the person discern reality and care for their well-being and safety.

Use this quick-list to help create clarity in your situations.

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.


- You can determine that there is no actual threat happening by looking at the facts of the situation and people involved; your reaction assumes a certain situation, but the facts point to a different reality
- They haven't violated your boundaries
- They do not name-call, attack, diminish, or deny you or your reality
- They haven't questioned your sense of reality or the event (no gaslighting)
- They are warm and available to how you feel about what happened
- They have a pattern of warmth, responsiveness, and being present with you
- After outlining the situation, you can see there was no threat
- The intensity and reaction seems to come out of nowhere


- You feel anxious, uneasy, or unsafe and can point to behaviors that led to that feeling
- Your body is being attacked or threatened
- Your emotions and experience are attacked, threatened, belittled, diminished, or ignored
- They have a pattern of being cold or indifferent to you
- They're frequently aggressive towards you
- They gaslight and question your perception
- You're not allowed to take space, disengage, and regulate yourself
- Boundaries are violated
- Consent is not obtained
- They try to control you

#codependency #healing #relationshipadvice

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You have 7 innate permissions. These empower you to live from your personal, natural authority and autonomy. They create natural boundaries and guide you in knowing, loving, and being who you are.

They are:

- Occupy your emotional, mental, physical, and energetic space without excuse
- Choose you first and not fix other people's disappointment or feelings about that choice
- Continue to feel good even when others are feeling different emotions
- Have boundaried empathy. Your empathy is a gift, not something others are entitled to. You can put it where you feel it bests serves you and them
- Be worthy without earning
- Ask for what you want & say no to anything you don't want
- Live free of guilt and shame

Note: Quick-lists & Infographics are snapshots on a concept or topic. They are, by nature, limited in their scope. It is entirely expected that the quick-list does not cover everything or may lack certain nuances. Keep that in mind while using them.

#codependency #narcissism #healing #mentalhealth

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What you went through is not who you are.

The work to heal is the work to discover who you are beyond the experience while also honoring that experience.

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A well-being habit:

Where ever I find the impulse to criticize myself, I praise and appreciate myself.

#codependency #mentalhealth #boundaries #healing

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What if your identity wasn't who you are?

Much of the time identity is a result of the meaning and conclusions we create to explain why things happen to us.

Releasing these meanings and conclusions is essential if we're to discover who we really are and deeply heal the pain we've lived through.

Learn how in my upcoming 2-day workshop, The Indomitable Worth Discovery Workshop starting January 25th.

Link is in the bio!

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