And if you’re currently in therapy, you can achieve deeper, faster relief right now.
If you want to break free of craving for the abuser, the obsessive need to please, and the fear of being alone forever, I can help.
Mentor To Survivors Of Narcissistic Relationships
Codependency (aka The Trauma bond, or “Love Addiction”) is the root of the pain and confusion you’ve been suffering with. It is the direct result of a specific relating cycle called, The Seduction-Abuse-Discard or S.A.D. Cycle.
This cycle puts you through an emotional roller-coaster of Euphoria, Distress, and Despair. This see-saw of emotions chemically hooks your brain on the relationship.
You know that high you get when they love you back? That is called Euphoria. That intense distress you’ve lived with for so long is called “Attachment Distress”. And the deep, dark lows you’ve endured are called “Despair”.
These sharp swings in emotional states gives you a feast-for-famine experience of love in the relationship and teaches you to crave them.
To survive this cycle, you get lost in a fantasy that they’ll stop their abusive behaviors and you and them will live in bliss forever.
Their occasional breadcrumbs of love and affection gives you hope (this is called Intermittent Reinforcement). This is why you stay.
This is how toxic relationships destroy your sense of self, worth, and peace.
I’ve helped 1000’s of survivors of love addiction return to sanity, peace, and connection in their lives (some after years of trying in traditional therapy).
What did they all need?
A PROVEN PROCESS TO FOLLOW: Love addiction is rooted in severe neglect of your core needs and a belief that only a special other can complete you. You need a step-by-step process that helps you undo the neglect, restore your sense of connection to yourself, heal the loneliness and bring healthy connection back into your life.
THE RIGHT KNOWLEDGE: Survivors of narcissistic abuse and codependency comes from a different world than those who haven’t been through that hell.
This means you need the correct knowledge at the right time to make the correct changes and choices that result in lasting healing for yourself.
THE TOOLS & PRACTICES THAT ADDRESS THE CORE CAUSES: Love addiction is a symptom of deep loneliness, disconnection from one’s self and value, and an incomplete sense of self. Survivors that heal need the right practices that help them develop a healthy relationship with themselves and helps them tap into their value as a human being, rather than an object.
Survivors learn how to calm their pain and distress, tap into their core worth, and build warmth and connection with themselves and others.
THE CORRECT EXPERIENCE & TIMING: Understanding your experiences helps you make wiser choices. To have that right understanding, you need to have the correct experiences in the correct time. Survivors build confidence and clarity fast when they know how to respond to the milestones in relationships as well as how to walk the path to those milestones.
A SAFE HAVEN: Survivors need real-time, active feedback on their experiences. A strong community coupled with email support beyond the classroom helps them succeed fast and maintain their growth and achievements.
ON-GOING RELIABLE RESOURCES & REINFORCEMENT: Most survivors I’ve worked with needed consistent access to support, feedback, cheer-leading, and celebration as they ventured into the world and experienced life. Knowing someone has your back makes adventure and risk so much safer.
The Heal Yourself Strategy™ is built specifically for survivors struggling to untangle themselves from the abuser in their lives, feeling crazy, and trying to claw their way back to life.
The Heal Yourself Strategy™ addresses the intense distress survivors feel when they lose contact/connection with the abuser, the distrust in their own sense of reality, and the deep loneliness they’ve lived with for ages through a proven path that restores their sanity, peace, and connection in the mind and body.
The Heal Yourself Strategy™ has one objective: Bring You Back To Yourself
The nausea, the pounding heart, the sense of panic and distress, the gutting sensation – these are all results of what I call “attachment distress”.
This distress results from having your sense of connection and access to the other person threatened or actually severed.
This leaves you feeling shattered, lost, emptied, and frozen.
I guide you through warming, thawing, and then healing this distress using specific practices, including:
You leave step one knowing how to comfort your pain, bring peace to your mind, and how to nurture yourself emotionally and mentally.
Wondering what is real?
You start to make sense of what is real because you start to believe your experience, its validity, and its importance.
You’re no longer referencing reality through someone else’s point of view.
You restore sanity and realize your truth through 4 specific practices:
Using these practices, you will exit this step:
We lost ourselves by enmeshing with the other person, defining ourselves against their approval and rejection. We never really came to know who we are to discover what we wanted, felt or needed.
This kept us trapped in the cycle of codependency and seeking ourselves through others.
My students rediscover themselves through a gentle, simple practice called “Differentiation”. This is how you will come to really identify with yourself and know what you think, feel, and sense.
You will exit this step with the ability to:
The curriculum is broken down into sections. Each builds on the one previous to it, teaching you a new lifestyle and daily living practice that sets you up for lasting success.
SECTION ONE: RESTORING SAFETY & EMOTIONAL REGULATION
Topic: Trauma, The 3 Safeties And Regulation
Topic: Restoring Safe Emotional Connection With Self
Topic: Building Inward Awareness
Topic: Restoring Emotional Flow
Topic: Increasing Emotional Regulation
Topic: Building Relational Safety
SECTION TWO: RESTORING SANITY & REALITY
Topic: The Origin Of Your Codependency
Topic: The Fantasy
Topic: Restoring Reality
Topic: Sober Reality – Part One
Topic: Sober Reality – Part Two
SECTION THREE: REGULATING ATTACHMENT & NEEDS
Topic: The Invisible Force Behind It All
Topic: Enmeshment and Individuation
Topic: Nurturing Your Needs
Topic: Regulating Interpersonal Attachment
SECTION FOUR: RESTORING YOUR PERSONAL SOVEREIGNTY
Topic: Your Being
Topic: Differentiation Yourself
Topic: Nature Of Personal Power
Topic: Self-Respect & Conclusion
Taking the leap on your own healing is scary. I know it was for me. Knowing I could email my mentor at any time, even years later, for guidance and help brought me a sense of peace and support in my healing.
This is what I provide you when you enroll: lifetime access to email support from me, Marshall Burtcher.
Taking the leap on your own healing is scary. What makes the difference is a warm, supportive community that students could turn to with questions, needs for understanding and support, and guidance.
Marshall provides you with this support through:
Live Mentoring Hours is your chance to get custom coaching from Marshall at any time in your journey through the trainings.
Live Mentoring Hours includes:
*Guaranteed for a minimum of 12 months
Do course homework in the warmth and presence of others students and Marshall.
This allows you to ask questions, share homework with others, and enjoy companionship.
Homework Hours details:
The chaos, crazy-making, and roller-coaster of emotions and intensity is why you feel anxiety. The BE CALM System empowers you with tools that calm your mind and body quickly. They help you have power and have a say in what you feel
These tools are built on Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing trainings. You will feel more calm and grounded.
Abuse and neglect may have taught you to associate yourself with being the problem. If only you were different, right? If only you had no needs, or different feelings, or a different personality.
This is the impact of abuse. We begin healing it through reclaiming your innate innocence in your feelings, personality, wants, needs, and even mistakes.
HEAL gently guides you in reclaiming yourself from the shame, guilt, fear, and fatigue you learned in the toxic experiences within your relationships, including your parents, siblings, peers, partners, and yourself.
NURTURE gently teaches you a practice called “The Nurture Process”. This simple process allows you to begin identifying, nourishing, and maintaining your emotional needs in healthy ways that promote healing interdependence and self-empowerment.
The RapidHEAL Guides empower your growth and healing and add special support through gentle meditations that reprogramming your emotional associations and help you release your codependent habits.
My courses are designed to be used from the smart phone and the desktop computer or laptop.
Each course is broken down into a series of small trainings. These trainings build on each other (think legos). As you advance through each training, you place another block in your healing, freedom, and peace.
You will exit each training and each course with a new skill-set and the understanding of how to apply it to your life.
My courses are self-paced. They’re designed to adapt to your lifestyle and needs. This is achieved with my Building-block™ course design (means they work like following a recipe).
Get answers to your questions by submitting your question to me and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours.
Just click below and fill out the question form.
YOUR SANITY: You’ll know how to discern truth from lies, how to determine what is your responsibility and theirs, and how to keep yourself sane as you navigate your sobriety.
GREATER PEACE: You’ll know how to calm your mind, your body, and your pain using tools designed specifically for your journey. You’ll feel more empowered in being able to care for yourself and feel more safe and at peace.
REAL SAFETY: You’ll know what safety feels like, what you need it in, and how to determine if you’re getting that. You’ll be able to foster and reinforce a deep, body-felt sense of safety in your space, healing loneliness and isolation.
SOBRIETY: You’ll be able to discern reality fast, understand what is happening, and what you need to do FOR YOU and your well-being and happiness and take the appropriate actions that help you have that.
BOUNDARIES & POWER: You will understand what boundaries you need for your well-being and will know how to use your power to create and maintain those boundaries effortlessly and with kindness and regard for yourself – not just the other person.
YOURSELF: You’ll know how to connect with yourself, nurture your intra-connection and your inner world with you, how to keep yourself (aka sobriety), and how to build safe, secure attachment with you.
These Courses Are Designed For Individuals That:
There Are Prerequisites For These Courses:
I MENTOR CODEPENDENTS WHO ARE SEEKING TO BE THEMSELVES.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE FOR ME?
Ask yourself this question and listen to you body’s response: “Will this course get me where I want to be?”
If you find yourself heavy and confused, then your answer is no.
If you find yourself light, expansive, and clear, then your body’s answer is yes.
That answer is what I call your “intuitive answer”.
Trust your inner guidance.
WHAT IF I GET STUCK OR GO SLOWLY?
This is anticipated in the design of all my courses. You see, this course is teaching you new practices and a new lifestyle. It will take time to adopt, explore, and experience what you learn.
You can go at your pace and you’ll always have support and guidance along the way.
WHAT IF I DECIDE IT ISN’T FOR ME AFTER ENROLLING?
I recommend not enrolling if you’re wrestling with this question. Instead, share with me your concerns or questions by messaging me here: https://www.facebook.com/freetheself
There are no refunds for subscriptions.
I’M REALLY BAD WITH TECHNOLOGY AND COMPUTERS. WILL THAT GET IN THE WAY?
All my courses are designed to be accessed through email. If you’re comfortable with using email, you can do the courses.
All live classes are through the ZOOM app. Links to the ZOOM classrooms are in all class emails and titled “Link to Classroom”. Click the link and you’ll be entered into the classroom.
If you have difficulties, reach out to support here: firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll help you get it working.
The only issue we do not troubleshoot is email delivery. We recommend having a GMAIL, HOTMAIL, MSN, YAHOO account for the class emails. Other email services may block or move to spam course emails.
I’M IN THERAPY. WILL THIS INTERFERE?
All my courses are built on cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and somatic therapies. This means it will likely be compatible with your therapy and enhance what you’re learning there.