How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again – The 3 Habits That Are Causing You More Pain

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There are three habits we do with emotions that tend to trap and inhibit their natural flow and movement through our bodies:

1) We analyze them. This happens with both painful and pleasurable emotions. We do this thinking if we can understand their cause, we can stop them from happening, or create them over and over again

2) We resist them. This happens with both painful and pleasurable emotions, and it is a signal that we have low capacity and high discomfort with the emotion

3) We attach to them. This also happens with both painful and pleasurable emotions. This habit has us trying to keep the emotion close, alive, and constant, either as a form of protection against feeling other things, or having to navigate the loss of the emotion as it fades.

These three habits create emotional paralysis and stagnation, trapping us in loops of trying to control emotions.

The solution to this is a simple – not easy – practice of acknowledging the emotion and allowing it to take up a bit more space in your awareness.

I sometimes call this “welcoming”.

When I notice an emotion showing up, I allow it in, or welcome it in. “Hello. I am grateful you are here” is something I often say to my emotions.

This allows me to observe and listen to my emotion instead of invoking analysis, resistance, or attachment.

I even apply this to any analysis, resistance, or attachment that shows up, as it, too, is welcomed and allowed.

This approach allows you to begin to experience the rhythm and wisdom of your emotions, along with becoming more responsive to them in a way that nurtures your emotional ecosystem.

I use this in response to ALL emotions that surface, including shame, guilt, jealousy, anger, hurt, insecurity, lust, desire, and resentment.

They all have important information to share.

Welcoming them or allowing them to be helps you feel safer with what you feel, as there is no judgment or control required anymore.

Using the Pause-Acknowledge-Observe Tool will assist you in going deeper in welcoming your emotions. Get it here: https://pao.freetheself.com

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