Are you doing this?
- 1) Focusing on fixing your shame while…
- 2) Focusing on fixing your thinking while…
- 3) Focusing on getting a better job while…
- 4) Focusing on netflix and hulu while…
- 5) Focusing on being a better mom or dad while…
- 6) Focusing on healing your trauma while…
Feeling overwhelmed yet?
This is how we overwhelm ourselves. This is how we burn out. And this is WHY we do. not. make. substantial. progress.
Think of it like this: You have 13 inches of progress you can make in a day. So, you took those 13 inches and applied one inch to 13 things.
Did you make progress?
Did you actually get closer to where you want to be?
This is because your energy is not CONCENTRATED and DIRECTED. It is scattered all about.
So, what happens when you become DELIBERATE about your healing? What do you think happens when you FOCUS on one specific element of your healing?
You get results, right?
But what if we’re focusing on the wrong thing?
That’s a legit concern.
The funny thing with that is the progress you make actually starts to point out the adjustment necessary for your next leap in happiness and healing.
Here’s an example of what I mean:
I was really, really struggling with shame a few years back. It was stuck to everything in my thinking and feeling. I was everything through its lens. My body was shameful. My personality was shameful. My actions were shameful. My quirky, dark humor – SHAMEFUL!
So I started doing clearings on it. I started reading more and more books on it. I watched youtubes on it. I wrote about it. I tapped on it. I did release questions on it.
And nothing really made it budge.
At this point, I was wondering if shame could actually be released at any significant level.
Then I decided to do something that immediately resulted in huge anxiety:
I stopped bouncing from tool to tool. I stopped reading up on it. I stopped trying to fix it.
Instead, I focused on ONE process.
I had a hunch that shame required love to release. Paradoxical, I know. But I noticed every time I was letting love in, the shame would ease up after a brief moment of intensity. In the space created, I would feel more warmth and softness.
This was caused by a release approach I had created that lead myself through shame being penetrated and wrapped in love and then allowing the body to discharge all that energy (usually through crying and some shaking as the body let go).
My focus on shame had led me to the deeper, more relevant focus: letting love in.
And that is what I poured my attention into. I stopped hunting and pecking for an instant outcome and used this tool that was getting results in one-inch bursts.
And boom! Those one-inch jumps started turning into 2-foot leaps in release and healing.
You see, it was my DIRECT and DELIBERATE FOCUS that made the difference for me.
It is also the factor that my successful students have. They stick to the process at hand. They allow it to work for them and receive the outcomes that it generates. They adjust course based on the OUTCOME, not their anxiety or fear. They are responsive to their path.
I call this “STRUCTURED HEALING” and it is the underlying technology in my healing processes.
If you’re experiencing a lot of small progress, but no BIG progress in your healing, you need to FOCUS.
Tomorrow I will share more about what FOCUS is and you choose WHAT to focus on.
For now, ask yourself this question: Is my focus direct and deliberate or scattered and broad?