A thought on creating sanity for yourself:
Once I stopped empathizing with the trauma I assumed was behind their abusive behaviors and making up stories to defend their bad behaviors, I was able to see my own pain clearly. The cost I’d been paying to remain with a people who found their toxic behavior to be “normal” or “just how it is” was loud, clear, and sobering.
This was a major step in valuing my well-being and accessing my reality. At the time, I had serious trauma and distortion in my own thinking. Yet, I could point to the facts very easily and clearly: I was being harmed. Part of my distortions and trauma was because of that harm – not despite it.
You have a right to safety and sanity in relationships. That starts with bringing and maintaining that with the relationship you have with yourself.