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Do You Struggle to “Believe In Yourself”?

Do You Struggle to “Believe In Yourself”?

I did. For most of my life.

I would try to talk myself up, build my self-esteem, praise my skills and achievements, only to have it collapse in the face of failure, uncertainty, or criticism.

This is because believing in one’s self isn’t the solution. It is the result.

This result is created organically through healing the pain that tells you that you’re not enough or inadequate. This is different from the MEANING, as we tend to confuse meaning and the pain frequently.

The pain is the hurt, sorrow, sadness that the body expresses in response to an experience it has gone through.

The meaning is the reason that explains WHY this happened to you. Meaning shows up as “this happened to me because I am….”

Experience shows up as, “I felt really hurt because this (experience) happened…”

When you’re able to distinguish your worth from hurt and experiences, you will begin to understand that you have immutable value that is free of any dependence on conditions.

This is where belief in yourself can start to take shape.

What does it mean to “believe in yourself?”

Belief in one’s self is one’s inward, felt-sense confidence and trust in their ability to discover, learn and master their life in some aspect.

It doesn’t include a belief in one’s worth.

Now, that may sound weird to hear. It is definitely the opposite of what we’re taught about self-worth.

In my model of self-worth, belief is not required. Experience is.

Experience is far, far more powerful.

Experience of your indomitable worth – actually feeling and seeing yourself with this type of worth eliminates any need to believe in it. You know it at the experiential level.

From there, what you desire for your life is innately worthy. There is no need to prove worthiness for it. All that is required at that point is development of skills to obtain and maintain what you desire. Your worth is no longer in question.

Any doubt, question, or shame that may arise in pursuing your desires will be a byproduct of past pain and conditioning. Through the lens of your innate worth, this pain is cared for, integrated, and brought to peace.

You can begin this process of experiencing and getting to know your Indomitable Worth with this possibility question taken from the Indomitable Worth System:

“What shifts if you trust, just a bit, that your worth is independent of all conditions?”

Now pause, acknowledge, and observe what shows up after asking this question to yourself.

You can use the Pause-Acknowledge-Observe tool to help: PAO Tool

Learn more about this in the YouTube or Podcast episode below:

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