
The trap of “becoming a better person”
“Gotta be a better person…” No. Not for me, at least. I grew up under the concept that I was inherently sinful, bad, wrong, and
“Gotta be a better person…” No. Not for me, at least. I grew up under the concept that I was inherently sinful, bad, wrong, and
A thought on creating sanity for yourself: Once I stopped empathizing with the trauma I assumed was behind their abusive behaviors and making up stories
As I continue in my own healing work, I’m touching more into the deep injuries that come from being turned into the Parent of the
Part of my codependency was the habit of “prevention”. This habit is a fawn response tangled a bit with flight and fight, depending on the
Normally, tolerance is a benefit to a relationship. It inspires love, connection, relational flexibility, understanding. But in toxic systems, tolerance becomes a quick-sand trap, leading
The fawn response can induce feelings of affection within a survivor towards an abuser or threat. These feelings motivate the survivor to appeal and please
There’s a paradox about nurturing safety… Safety is not the lack of intense emotion, or of feeling anxiety, unsure, or even insecure. These are emotions
I grew up in a culture that sought meaning in just about everything. Why didn’t the rain come when I prayed? Why did that person
One of the things from my abuse that haunt me still is the “you’re replaceable” message I received growing up. In the Consumer-Supply relationship, the
Father’s Day. This and Mother’s Day are laced with odd patches of emptiness for me. Neglect is the hallmark of my childhood. It was all
This is an necessary category.
This is an non-necessary category.