A thought on parenting one’s self:
Being boundaried means parenting your inner reactions.
For example, a boundary I have been practicing is to not internalize other people’s views, choices, or actions as personal judgments about me.
The habit of internalizing others has been an old that I absorbed from the parentification I lived under as a child. I clearly remember deciding that internalizing things (aka making them personal) would be smart as it would help me become more of what they wanted and less of what they didn’t.
This never really worked.
As I de-tangle myself from this, I find such a deep peace. That deep peace is my sovereignty in somatic form.
Why is there deep peace?
Because there’s no more attacks on my beingness.
I am me.
They are them.
That is all ok.
So, when I have a reaction that says, “this person’s xyz means I am abc”, I gently acknowledge this part of me and say, “let’s stay out of their yard and stay focused on ours, as you are complete as you are.”
Remember, boundaries direct your behaviors, not theirs. They govern what you do. Boundary yourself with respect, completeness, and self-trust and you’ll quickly find yourself experiencing more of your natural state of peace and wholeness.