I coach in what I've experienced. I began taking private clients June 1st, 2008. I've served hundreds of clients all over the world. I presently have an 89% success rate - success being defined as major progress towards the client's objective or successful achievement of the objective.
Research found that the 11% that did not succeed were not doing their homework!
Previous to coaching, I spent 16 years in corporate IT and self-employ in the computer/Information technology field.
Some of My Story:
Childhood emotional neglect was a prominent experience. My parents came from deeply broken homes, and having never understood the love they needed, they were unable to communicate and share that with their children. They struggled to share with each other their core needs, and often experienced verbally (and sometimes physically) violent conflicts.
Tragedy struck when my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and died a week short of my 11th birthday. My father promptly remarried, subjecting myself and my siblings to the mental abuse from a woman struggling deeply with her own demons and unresolved emotional trauma.
My teen years were spent avoiding sexual and emotional shame due to familial and religious conditioning. I faced suicide four times during this period as I wrestled with the dark, tormenting demons within my head and heart.
Codependent relating became my normal after my mother's death. I quickly learned that pleasing my step-mother bought me a respit from her irrational rages and tantrums, and that I relax from "walking on egg-shells" around her for a bit. I quickly learned, though, that I was expected to be the adult and parent in the relationship, and she expected to be cared for and rescued.
I became a professional at fixing, rescuing and avoiding. I would fix and rescue others while avoiding my own deep shame, emptiness, longings, needs and wants. Boundaries became a violent experience, as they were repeatedly knocked down by my parents. I would feel startled and confused when others would erect boundaries and show disappointment in my codependent and avoidant behaviors.
I quickly began avoiding emotionally intimate and revealing relationships. I didn't date women I was attracted to out of fear of being exposed. I couldn't imagine anyone would want someone that was so "disgusting" inside.
I wallowed in my own sense of being a victim, powerless in my relationships, and hopeless in finding and feeling love. I blamed others for my anger and my resentment of being overlooked, unwanted, and unloved.
This changed in 2007 when I started to see how I was valued for who I was in my IT administration career. People liked me, and seemed to enjoy me. I was also beginning to face my marriage's problems, seeing that I wasn't in love with my then-wife and I wanted a change.
I sought out help through a healing coaching program. Over the course of 12 weeks, I found myself facing that deep shame and self-hate. I wanted to die, but also wanted to live. I reached out to my coach and he connected me with Robert Woo Du-An (www.sevenhawks.com).
This started a two-year apprenticeship under Robert, exploring my own trauma and emotions, and mastering how to make space for such trauma and feelings for others.
I met Robert Bilton (retired relationship therapist out of Manitoba, Canada) shortly after this, and started training in Relationship Dynamics. I spent two years under his training.
These apprenticeships transformed my emotions, my mindsets, and my sense of self. I learned how to heal trauma, how to navigate relating with love and honesty, and why codependency wasn't an identity, but a coping mechanism.
These days you'll find me enjoying some EDM at a local club, netflixing a new series, working in Minecraft with my Son, or making slime with my daughter. I live in Nampa, Idaho currently.
Here's A Breakdown of My Training With Robert Woo Du-An (January 2008 - December 2009):
Here's My Training with Robert Bilton (August of 2008-January 2011):
Independent Training (Current):
© 2017 MBI Holdings. All Rights Reserved