You’re treating yourself like an object instead of a being. You regard your value as something that competes for importance or recognition or approval. You’ve been taught a massive lie: that your value must be proven.
This programming came from the experience of being approved of, valued, or appreciated when you “did the right thing” or pleased the narcissist, abuser, or neglector in your life. Much like Pavlov’s dogs were trained to salivate at the ring of a bell, you were trained to fawn, pine, and please when that person was upset, hurt, needing something, or raging.
Naturally, your brain concluded that your value is based on what you do. Beyond that, you don’t exist.
This is where that incredible fear of disappointing others, being rejected, or failing is bred. The ultimate, seemingly fatal act of being discarded would mean to we no longer exist. We would die if we didn’t exist to these people.
How do we solve this?
By taking back our control of our value and master BEING it.
We do this with a simple 3-step process called “The HEAL Process™”.
Step one: Release your shame. Let go of seeing yourself through that lens. Open to who you are being it.
Step two: Integrate love. Begin to let yourself feel love and like towards yourself. Allow the discomfort of receiving love to melt away, revealing the pain and hurt and the joy and peace that have been frozen in shame for so, so long.
Step three: Embody who you are. Explore the parts of you that come out as you approach being you in love.
This process is responsible for over 400 people coming back into contact with the truth that they’re worth knowing, loving, and keeping.
Now you have it, too.
Use my Shame Clearing to get you started on step one. More coming!