Pleasing others is an exhausting undertaking, isn’t it? Grappling with the anxiety of saying, “No” and the guilt and shame that come when you do is taxing! I bet you relate to the pressure and busy mind that come with worrying and anxiety. I imagine you’ve experienced the panic and nerves that come with taking on new challenges or being faced with sudden changes in your daily life that bring in threats to predictability and safety. I’m also willing to bet you have a strong desire to feel confidence in the face of challenges, to have fulfilling relationships, to achieve your desires. You want to free your self from the trap you’re in.
Breaking through people-pleasing and the anxiety of choosing You is a worthy challenge. You’ve likely sought out assistance from therapist, counselors, self-help programs and other means to no avail. You feel you understand concepts, but you struggle to apply them.
I have the solutions. This is a bold statement, and one with experience and clarity to back it up. I know how to apply the concepts you’ve learned in your exploration and search for relief. I know key concepts that are missing from that material that make the crucial difference. I have personal and professional experience to show you how to use your anxiety as fuel for your budding confidence. I know what it takes to respond to anxiety and work through it. I know the work-arounds to common pitfalls. I also know what is missing from your understanding that will transform your anxiety into confidence. But first, you need to know a few things about the process that gets you to Confidence:
- It takes courage
- It requires your focus and your commitment
- It requires feeling uncomfortable emotions and being willing to grow past them
- It requires adopting a new mindset about learning and about your desires
- It requires hope
- It requires a willingness to allow the process to provide itself to you (you only need allow it by following the Map)
- It requires that you give yourself the chance to accept that you already have these attributes – you’re literally prepared for this journey
- It requires you take action and reasonable risk
The Real Problem
We’ve been calling the problem, “Anxiety” or “Insecurity”. The reality is that these feelings are the result of deeper things. These feelings are the symptoms that extend from deeper aspects of your thinking and believing habits. A few things that contribute to being anxiety and insecurity are:
- Living according to the expectations of others (real or perceived)
- People Pleasing
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of Learning (aka fear of Failure)
- Resistance to emotional growth and responsibility
- Resistance to change
- Negative self-value and respect
Your case may have all of the above or none or just a few elements. What is wonderful, though, is the solution to being Anxiety and Insecurity addresses all of them effectively.
The Real Solution
The Real Solution is igniting your enthusiasm and passion because you know you fit and that you matter in life. Before I get more into that, lets explore a bit of how we got here.
We’re not raised effectively with the skills required to navigate life. We’re given a concept of life that is complex, unyielding, and doesn’t demonstrate itself as accurate. Relationships are taught to be static entities that ought never change, yet we continually experience them changing. We live with a mindset that our worth is based in what we do, rather than who we are and how we offer what we do. We live in a state of emotional starvation because core emotional needs go unmet. They go unmet because we’re not really relating and connecting with one another. We’re simply bartering our time, talents and energy in exchange for someone else’s time, talents and energy. Where’s the connection in all of this?
The solution to these things is painfully obvious, but justifiably difficult to apply: Discover what really is happening, adopt a new paradigm in relating, and then apply new skills to getting what we want.
This is why I got into coaching and skills development. So few people I had turned to for help knew anything about skills and how to develop and grow effectively in cooperation with Life. My experience taught me what is required to get unstuck and to maintain progress in life. This experience and my study and training have led me to develop: The Right FIT Relating System.
The Right FIT Relating System™
The Right FIT Relating System™ is a concept that puts relating into a simple grid of compatibility and helps you see where you’re matching and mismatching in your desires, relationships, and general living. From there, we explore skills that help you begin to shift toward your Group A course of living and relating (Group A is the group that naturally gets you, likes you, and you get them and like them. Its a nearly effortless place of relating, exchanging, and thriving). The Right FIT System™ brings Confidence to:
- Your relationships and getting what you desire
- Direction in your career or business
- To start acting towards your desires
- The end-goal you really want in your relationships, career or desires (hint: its about how you want to feel on a regular basis)
- Take the action required to change meaningful change so you get more of what you want
People’s lives begin to take on momentum when confidence is applied to the clarity they gain by understanding what they genuinely want to emotionally and mentally experience on a regular basis.
Getting to Point B (Point B being Fulfillment of the Emotional Intent)
Often we attempt to do things on our own. This choice contributes to being stuck. I’m quite convinced it plays a central factor in being stuck. Here’s why:
- You can’t see your blind spots
- You cannot truly confirm if you understand a concept accurately
- Applying new skills can be murky due to lack of experience and orientation with the concept
- Lack of accountability and praise and validation for your efforts and successes reduces enthusiasm and energy to get through the difficult moments
- You have no one to turn to to ask questions and seek support through
Effective, lasting personal growth requires interaction and support from people outside yourself, and likely, your present circle of influence.
Let’s Get You to Confidence ASAP
I can get you to Point B quickly and effectively. I know I’m able because of my own personal journey to Point B. Don’t take my word for it, though. The concepts will prove themselves to you. They are how you find the answers you’ve been seeking.
To become a client of mine, you first must ask yourself a few questions:
- How serious am I about facing the discomfort and upsetting aspects of my life?
- Am I ready to learn?
- Am I willing to experiment, explore and fail?
- Am I ready to experience change in my life?
If you’ve answered, Yes” to these questions, you’re primed for change.
Free Consultation is the Next Step
Complete the “Free Consultation Request” form found on the right side of this page. I will contact you with times I’m available for the call and we’ll get it scheduled. The objective of the consult call is to:
- Determine if I can effectively help you with your desire
- Give you some exposure to my style of interaction and to myself
- Help me help you clarify and establish a goal to shoot for
- Discuss how sessions work
- Discuss cost and payment options
- Discus enrollment requirements
- Discuss coaching policies
The consult lasts typically 30 to 60 minutes. You’ll receive an email detailing what was discussed in the consult along with any other material pertinent to the call. I encourage you to take time right now and fill out the Free Consult Request. Taking action is necessary for change, and this action is the first of many in taking power over the change you want in your life. Do it! It’ll be one decision you’ll not regret.
Free Consultation Request Form